Over time our generation has forgotten the importance of being thoughtful. Hidden behind our front facing cameras, Instagram feed, cocooned in a well lit (not direct light, but diffused light) bubble of self absorption we have forgotten how to just be present with our loved ones. Its important to make the effort to stay connected and listen to one another.
I may be in the minority with this next statement but EVERY TIME I SEE A GROUP AT DINNER STARING AT THEIR PHONES SHIRKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH A REAL HUMAN I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT! When I see couples out on date night scrolling through useless content instead of being in the moment my heart sinks.
Every moment we spend ignoring each other only further normalizes the bad behavior. Its okay to document your outing . Capture your content and either save it for later or quickly post it. It starts to become excessive and rude when you spend 45 minutes and 4+ apps to edit your picture to post it over dinner so you can have “real time” content.
So what does double tapping your phone screen and editing apps have to do with gifts? I’m almost there…
People are so absorbed and focused on the “ME, ME, ME” that its easy to over look the little details people share when they’re face to face. Those little quiet moments, or group setting when people are being true, unfiltered, unrestricted and feel unjudged. Those moments when you’re up talking about nothing and absolutely everything at the same time. Those “simple” moments are gift giving idea gold mines!
TIP #1: LISTEN & WRITE IT DOWN
The main goal is to pick up tidbits here and there through mundane conversations and WRITE THEM DOWN. Open up your notepad app on your phone and create different notepads for different people.
Someone might mention a classic movie they love, food they’re craving, food allergies, a place they’ve always want to go to, worst gifts ever received, or the fact that they’ve never been to the spa. When the holiday season rolls around you can get them a gift certificate for a massage at a spa. Or you can hunt down the extended cut and remastered Box set of their favorite movie! If you can remember or have taken note of where and when they shared the information that led to their gift, then please mention it in a card or note.. The extra effort will make a monumental difference in the meaning of the gift.
TIP #2: ASK & WRITE IT DOWN
This is incredibly easy to implement with people you spend a lot of time with. You have more time during the year to poke and prod with out being obvious.
Noting garment sizes, shoe sizes, jewelry sizes (measure links in watches, or ordering a ring sizer to use to compare rings) and general tastes. This can all be accomplished by either going through their closet or during a routine trip to the mall. Once you get these details be sure to WRITE THEM DOWN!!
You can always bring up conversations or ideas of things you want to do and gauge their reaction and interest. People are pretty quick to give you their opinion on things if you bring something up. If someone says they’ve always wanted to go to Paris, and its not in the budget to go to Paris then you can look up an authentic Parisian restaurant local to you. If there isn’t a Parisian restaurant near you but you live 2-3 hours from a major city that does have international cuisine, then you can book a one night trip away where you can relax at a hotel and go to dinner at a great Parisian restaurant. Let them know that its not Paris but that you wanted them to have the experience. It is about the thought, and effort. People truly appreciate the genuine effort.
The goal is to catch people off guard. Most people feel extremely uncomfortable asking for things, or suffer from brain freeze when asked on the spot what they want. People feel self conscious or don’t want to feel demanding so they don’t voice their wants. They don’t want to put pressure on the gift giver. They don’t want the gift giver to have to spend more money or effort than they’re willing to do on their own.
If you have a person who doesn’t respond well to gifts then give the ultimate gift.. TIME. Time is the only thing that you can’t get back. Set aside time to relax and be unplugged together. A quiet meal in, some quiet time in the sun together reading, watching their favorite movie over their favorite dessert. You can still implement listening and writing things down. The delivery will just be slightly different. The effort will be noted and in the end they will feel appreciated.
