I”ll be the first one to say that the idea of entertaining ANYONE in my home gives me 9/10 anxiety. I’m always so impressed and appreciative of people who volunteer to host events.
I absolutely love planning things, cooking, and making personalized items for friends and family. With that being said, the concept of people being in my sanctuary/space makes my heart race.
And because of this, I have felt an even bigger need to bring hostess gifts whenever anyone has invited me into their home. It’s a very intimate thing to be invited into someone’s personal space.
So what exactly is a hostess gift anyways? The interweb has given it the simple definition of a “gift taken and given to the host(s) or hostess(es) by guests as a token of their thanks for the hospitality.”
Some people believe that you are only required to bring a token of appreciation if you’re spending the night. My belief is , that if someone is kind enough to open their home to more than 1 person then it’s appropriate to bring a small gift. That gift can be something as simple as dessert/food/drinks to share. The gift can also be something to be used, displayed or enjoyed by the host themselves.
If you’re attending a larger gathering (especially one that has taken a lot of energy to prepare for) regardless of where it is held, it is good to take a gift. The gift may be tailored to the host themselves or something that can be enjoyed in the moment by a large portion of the guests in attendance. If the event is more formal, or one where there is an extremely large number of people in attendance then I would recommend a “Post Event Thank You Gift” instead.
“Post Event Thank You Gifts” are great for recognizing peoples efforts in general, not just for hosts. Larger events have a lot of moving parts. Events large in size are normally spearheaded by a few crucial people who have put in a lot of effort, used many resources or helped by contributing to the budget or organizing funding. All those people who have had a crucial and public role deserve some sort of recognition (even if it is just a handwritten note).
Post Event Thank you gifts can also be the remedy for awkward event situations that may include but are not limited to: late RSVP, no RSVP, or being an informal invitee. Often times those situations leave us in a weird place socially, and can make social interactions in the future a little strange. If you are not that close to the event coordinators or hosts then the Post Event Thank you Gift can facilitate in putting you in a better position for following events. This can also be used as an opportunity to facilitate further networking opportunities in the future.
My tips for a good Thank You Gift is to take a look around at the entertaining space (people have specific taste and it shows in decor around the home and sometimes even in event spaces). Pay attention to what the host is eating, or talking about during side chatter. You might be able to overhear that the host attends spin class, enjoys massages, is currently doing the keto diet, or only drinks whiskey (listening to their drink orders helps). Whatever that little tidbit of information is, run with it. Get them a small token of gratitude and include a HAND written note.
The Delivery: My advice would be to speak with the host, and take note of their address before you leave. If the event is not held in their home, then maybe ask them what they do for a living to see if the share their work location for delivery purposes. When in doubt ask a close friend of the host if you can reach out to them to get these details. Make sure they understand that you’re planning on sending over a thank you note or gift (so they don’t think ‘stranger danger’ lol). Exchange cards, making voice memos of details (especially if you’re drinking) so you don’t forget, or add observations to the notes section in your phone.
Ideally post event gifts should be delivered within 48-72 of the end of the event. The most I would recommend stretching that delivery date would be about 1 week. In general, its the thought that counts but brownie points are typically given for promptness.
If you are low on funds then a simple hand addressed, Thank you card with handwritten heartfelt words of appreciation are more than enough.
Places like Paper Source, or Etsy has great options for “Thank you cards” – a simple hand written card really makes even the smallest of gifts very personal and heart felt. I recommend buying various types and keeping them handy through out the year. A single hole punch & thin ribbon can help you attach the thank you card to the gift with ease.
Linked below are some great options for Thank You cards (PRICING INCLUDED) !!
Happy gifting!
